All Dressed Up: Dairy-Free Keto Ranch Dressing

 Greetings. Recently, I discovered that dairy (think sour cream, cheese, heavy whipping cream, etc.) is causing my body a tremendous amount of grief. As a person doing a ketogenic diet, you might think the death knells would be ringing for my keto-ing days. Au contraire, mon amis! Instead I am doing everything in my power to make sure I can continue producing the ketones that are making me the best version of myself, all while finding ways to sub out the dairy-laden products for much less inflammatory foodstuffs.

One thing that was a staple in my diet was my homemade keto-friendly ranch dressing, replete with all kinds of sour cream, and heavy whipping cream.  It was the bomb. All smooth, and creamy, and savory, and salty, and full of dairy goodness. It was a part of my everyday menu, at least six days a week. I do miss it. HOWEVER, I was lucky enough to find a very capable and laudable substitute that contains none of the aggravating dairy components.  From KetoDiet Blog, it's called "Fat-Burning Salad Dressing ..."

As you can see, the ingredients are fairly simple: mayo, healthy oil (I used extra light EVOO), herbs, garlic, and some salt and pepper ...

The first time I made the Fat-Burning Salad Dressing, I followed the recipe precisely, which included Dijon mustard and lemon juice. I have to admit, it wasn't my favorite, but it was salty, and savory enough that I powered my way through the batch, because I wasn't going to throw out that much good oil, and herbs!  She does list several variations, and though I did not use any of those ideas, I DID make a few of my own tweaks to come up with a very solid replacement for my previous salad accessory. 

I bumped up the amount of mayo, and oil to 1/3 cup each, ignoring the MCT oil measurement, because I am out. I completely omitted the mustard, and cut the amount of lemon juice down to just a very small splash. My herbs included one green onion (scallion, spring onion, whatever you want to call it), a small bit of fresh dill, and probably three to four tablespoons of Italian parsley. I used chopped garlic, to the tune of about 1 teaspoon, because I absolutely hate trying to clean my garlic press without that little tool that pushes the garlic out of the holes. Then, I added a teaspoon each of salt and coarse-ground black pepper, onion powder, and garlic powder. 

You could probably take the time to hand chop all the herbs and stir everything together with good result, but again, me=lazy, so I put my trusty Magic Bullet blender to work. You get dressing in 30 seconds or less, no chopping involved. Well, that's a lie. I cut the green onion into a few smaller pieces, just to speed up the process. The way I made it, I ended up with probably a full cup (8 ounces) or more of dressing, which will last me an entire week, typically. 

What results is this: 

Not sure why, but I think my version looks a whole lot better than the picture in KetoDiet Blog's recipe post.  Maybe because I added less lemon juice and blended the bejesus out of it. Regardless, the flavor is perfect, and so absolutely versatile that I can make whatever dressing I want, with very few carbs, ZERO sugar, and full flavor. 

All in all, I'd say this recipe is a must-try, even if you're not keto-ing, but you just want something that hasn't been processed or corn-syrup-ed to death. I promise you that making your own dressing is not expensive, it is not difficult, it is not time-consuming, and the more you make and consume your own creations, the more you will notice how not-good, and even disgusting mass-produced salad dressings can be. 

So, check out KetoDiet Blog's Fat-Burning Dressing, here, give it a whirl, if you're in the market for a new dressing, and let me know what you think. 

Rock on! 


You Gotta Try This!: Tater Dots

If you are trying a low carb, or even keto lifestyle, one thing you really might want to find a good replacement for is mashed taters.  The ultimate comfort staple, all warm and soft and full of ... Yeah, so anyway, one thing I really miss from my former eating life is mashed taters, and gravy. I haven't quite perfected keto versions of gravy yet, but I think I'm well on the way to keeping some semblance of comfort in my life with this recipe: 

Dot rocks. Dot rocks a lot in her kitchen. Dot REALLY rocks with this recipe.  I was so excited to try this because I'd made some semblance of a cheaper version of pot roast in the slow cooker, and it was screaming to be paired with mashed something. 

Honestly, I got my food processor for Christmas probably decades ago. I was young, and ignorant, and never really found a reason to use it, so much so that it stayed hidden from view, and use, in the back of a bottom cupboard. Last year, in a fit of trying something new (vegetarianism), I broke it free from bondage to make my own salsa-type concoction, which is also pretty damned good. I digress. A lot. This year, since starting this whole ketogenic diet thing, I have discovered that it's a damned fine tool for shredding stuff, like zukes, and cauliflower, and for mashing things into a fine, tasty pulp. 

This recipe, which puts your long ago abandoned food processor to very good use, is definitely higher in fat, and vegetable carbs, but it's worth it, even if you only use it for special occasions, which I will, mainly because I can't tolerate a constant influx of very high-fat foods. I will warn you, it is so rich ... and very filling. A little goes a long, long way. That being said, it is a heavenly recipe! 

I think I probably screwed something up, because mine were a touch runnier in consistency, and I'm not sure what I will do to fix that next time I make them, but that flavor, though!!!  Sigh. I get all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.  So, to keep this short, and sweet, if you're looking for a new way to feed your potato need, or you want to explore the wonderful world of cauliflower, I highly suggest starting with this recipe.


Slow and Low: A Review of the Hamilton Beach 33182A 8-Quart Slow Cooker

Yeah, it's been a long, long while, I know.  Let's just say I was on hiatus, amassing some much needed kitchen equipment, and the urge to get back to cooking again. Life happens.  Now that I'm back, I'd love to tell you about the most excellent gift my sister-in-law got for me this past Christmas. I've only had it a little under two weeks and already have put it to some great use.  What am I talking about?  Did you not read the title of this post?


If you have an ad blocker, you won't see that Amazon image, but it's more like this in reality:

It's quite the upgrade from this: 

Crockpot c. Sometime in the late 80s

Granted, the original model still works. I want to say that I got it around 86 or 87 on my first excursion to college away from home. I could be wrong, but regardless, it's been around for a long while and still works just fine.  Scary but true. However, as it is taller and cylindrical, it's not really conducive to cooking massive quantities of anything other than soups or narrow pork roasts, etc. 

I've wanted for years to be able to put stuff in and let it go all day and not have to worry about finding stuff to make for our meals.  That day has arrived. 

In the past two weeks, I have made several rounds of homemade dog food. Before you jot off to vomit, allow me to explain, somewhat briefly ... We've taken the beasts off of processed, dry, grain-filled foods, and have switched them to a grain-free dry kibble and supplement with a less than dry meal consisting of meat and vegetables, such as peas, carrots, sweet potatoes and green beans. What better way to make a good two to four days worth of meals for them than in this beast of a slow cooker?  Overnight even. As Ron Popeil says:  "Set it and forget it." 

I've cooked overly enlarged store-bought chicken breasts, a pork roast, some chicken breast patties, and at least three roasts (one for us, two for the babies).  Before you assume we're made of money, no, we're not. I used up meat that I had stored in the freezer and buy frozen peas and carrots, sweet potatoes and fresh green beans when they're on sale. I'm still sort of balking at how much we spend to feed all the assorted animals; however, after seeing the difference in their coats and their demeanor, I have to admit, it's well worth it. 

Aren't they adorable?  They are. 

Back to the topic at hand, the Hamilton Beach 8-Quart Slow Cooker. It's a basic model, no digital bells and whistles here, which is how I like it. I don't want to have to become a computer scientist to operate my kitchen equipment. Four settings: Off, Keep Warm, Low and High. That's all I need. Different models of the 8-Quart slow cooker come in different colors, such as white and a lovely, shiny red, but this one is your basic black, and matches my black stove and black fridge splendidly. 

The cooker, a large, sturdy ceramic crock lifts out of the cooking base for easier clean-up. That's one huge bonus over the pain in the arse of trying to clean a Crockpot with no way to remove the crock and trying to keep the cord and operating parts out of water.  This is much better!  A sturdy warning about the Hamilton Beach crock. It's HEAVY. meaning, if you have any sort of hand, wrist, shoulder or elbow injuries, either get someone else to move it around, or wear protective braces when handling it, and use both hands. Also, the bottom is unfinished (unpainted) and is rather rough, so it's advisable not to drag it across delicate surfaces like tile or glass or stainless steel that you want to keep scratch-free. I have a feeling the bottom of the crock could do some serious damage to those surfaces if handled improperly!  

The lid is a lid. Seems a bit less durable than the crock, but if you don't toss thing around with reckless abandon, it should hold up. The one thing about this model that I find completely useless is the "mess-free" lid rest. Unless you've got a wide open, unencumbered countertop on which to plant the cooker, it's just nothing short of awkward. As you can see above, that comes right up to the very bottom of our cabinets and actually touches the bottom if the unit is pushed back. It's fairly useless to me. Not to mention the fact that I'm not sure how they assume it's "mess-free" when it's very awkward and difficult to finagle it ON to the rest when the lid is hot, and if you're making any sort of large batch of soup or anything that nears the top of the crock, the lid, whilst on the rest, kind of sinks down into the food below. You're better off laying the lid on a towel where you can just grab it by the handle and set it back in place. 

The lid rest also doubles as a cord wrap. I can't speak to that because I haven't had it unplugged or out of use long enough to use that feature, but I'm sure it'll work fine if I ever do decide to put the unit away.  Ha. 

As for cooking, I have yet to use it on the High setting. I've only used the Low and Keep Warm settings. The Low setting seems really hot to me, when comparing it to the antiquated model. Hot enough that when I lifted the lid the other morning, after it had been on all night, the liquid was boiling around the edges. Nothing was burnt, however, just really, really warm. 

You'll also want to keep perishables away from the outside when you're using the cooker, as the outer shell also gets very warm.  Apparently, that's why they provide full-grip handles!  The more you know ... 

All in all, I think this is going to be my new favorite way to cook, at least until I get bored with being lazy. I'll be sure to let you know when that happens.  Overall, I'd give it 4.5 out of 5 stars, if I used a star rating system. Like I mentioned, my only complaint is that odd lid rest, but since that's not a necessity for me, it's more likely to be ignored than to be a nuisance.  

Here are some handy specs, which can also be found on the Amazon product page

  • Product Dimensions: 10.8 x 17.7 x 11.6 inches ; 7.6 pounds
  • Shipping Weight: 14.6 pounds

Meanwhile, since I received this glorious gift, I started collecting slow-cooker recipes that I'll be making over the course of forever. For your enjoyment, stop back from time and time and see my reviews of the recipes I find. If you can't wait, just go check out the recipes here on my Pinterest board: 

And finally, a disclaimer, in not so tiny print: 

Any link you see to items on Amazon, within Cooking Squared blog posts or on the Shopping Squared tab  are affiliate links, meaning if you should decide to purchase anything from these links or from my Amazon store, I will receive a percentage of the sale. Rest assured, I am not making anything close to a killing by blogging. I think I've made a total of $7 from Amazon sales in over five years of blogging. I'm just not that dedicated, but still I wanted you to know. Any questions, just holler!  


Hot! Hot! Hot!! Rachael Ray's Chipotle-Barbecue Chicken

We have yet another winner! This one is not for the faint of heart or tongue! I saw this recipe years ago, in the 'EveryDay with Rachael Ray' magazine:

It's way simple and quick, with just a few ingredients and a few minutes of prep to make the sauce. Since we are trying to eat just a touch healthier, though, I did swap out the butter for olive oil and probably only used two tablespoons, tops. And since her recipe serves four, I made just a touch less sauce and only cooked two pieces of chicken.

This recipe is hot, hot and MORE hot...but I do believe you can alter, lessen or increase the heat depending on how many chipotles in Adobo you use. I used 2, scraped out as many seeds as possible and removed the ribs/membranes/whatever you call them....yet, I could easily have knocked that down to half of ONE pepper, scraped, and probably still had adequate heat for our delicate palates. 

Unless you like scrubbing your baking pans, you will definitely want to line the pan with a piece of foil. That way, once it's cooked, discard the foil and clean up is much easier!  

I'm guessing that if you wanted to save hassle, you could just use a premade BBQ sauce of your choosing, in place of everything but the onion and garlic, but I highly recommend just making it as the recipe directs, it's a different flavor than processed BBQ sauce. Much brighter, less full of all those nasty chemicals and preservatives and sugars. 

Here's the final product. I served it with asparagii and some instant baby red mashed taters, which really helped counteract the heat. My beloved loaded up on carbs to get through his piece....I think he ate four pieces of bread and two helpings of taters. This chicken will definitely clear out your sinus cavities, so be prepared if you make it at full strength!

All in all, it's definitely a winner and will remain in rotation here, just with much less chipotle in future occurrences!